i just realised ..

everytime i get insanely close with someone , i back away .. far away and latch onto someone else .
i don't understand why i do this , and it annoys me because pretty much weekly my closest friends change , its crazy , its pointless but its me .

weekend times !

just got home from a pretty awesome weekend (: it wasn't spectacularly amazing , but i bonded so closely with jordan an became pretty tight with josh , one of jordans course friends !
i met jordan and josh on thursday night , when they came over wasted lmao .. but brittany was over at mine , and we ended up goin to pak n save to buy more alcohol and go to drinks in glen eden (quintins)
we got to glen eden but things got a bit weird , josh didn't like quintin haha cause quintin was being a stingy ass .. so we left and went to telains .. haven't seen him in ages so it was real cool to see him .. hes on home d now , out of jail finally !
after that we went to french bay we were all wasted by then .. and it was friken freezing so i didn't wana get out but jordan prity much made me , so i got out for like 5 seconds an then went bak into th car .. don't like french bay anymore after everything that happened there .. and jordan was trying to pressure me into telling him what happened that night and i really didnt want to talk about it .. sometimes when jordan gets wasted he trys to talk about deep things and when i'm wasted i don't wanna talk about deep things lmao so i guess we're a bad combination !
but then we ended up doing drifties on the way back home , meaaan ! (: an we crashd at jordans , got there bowt 4am .. somehow i managed to ring course at 8am an let them know i wasn't coming in hha ! josh an jordan didn't end up goin to course eitha hahah !
friday day i slept (: needed a good sleep ! an woke up watched that movie krank its actually prity good but i fell asleep before the end but josh told me th ending grr haha , an didn't eat anything i was so not on the eating buzz ! but we had chinese for dinner so that was alguds ..
then we ended up going to josh's for drinks .. troy , onosai & ethan were already there an already wasted it was so krakup .. those bois cannot handle their booze ay .. ethans eyes were fully white , you couldn't see the pupils or anything , he kept coma-ing , onosai was on th giggle buzz .. krakin up at ethans drunken antics , an troy was in denial about bein drunk yet he did random ass thingss ! hha well that was the good part of th night anyways , it got alot worse from then on ..
josh an jordan decided to walk to th atm machine an chek their bank account balance at avondale .. all was good until they went to walk home when some stupid ass crip niggahz that live on st georges rd jumped josh an stole 2 phones an joshs wallet ! i'm still really angry about that how dare someone do that !? josh got a few hits in , but the guy ended up knocking him on th kerb , which caused his teeth to chip :( sooo guttering cause his teeth were mega straight and perfect before ..
so jordan sprinted bak to josh's an got the car zoomed bak wit sai an troy .. i was a bit lost with everything so just wandered through the streets hahah ! an then they found me an jetted bak home .. only to have the 50 behind us with their lights on ..
ended up explaining to them what happened an thy tried to find the guys that did it .. bt they gapped it .. but we kno who did it .. these guys that live in avondale .. fkn cake ass niggahz ..
an yeah troy got a bit upset cause his fone got stolen .. an ehan was real wasted .. sai was just tired .. so we went to see rome to see how he was .. an it was bad news for him too , his cousin died at 2 days old :( what a stinky poohz nyt !
jordan josh an me ended up crashing at my house .. woke up th next morning made toast an eggs n shit then we all went to my godmotherz sisters wedding out in mangere .. i had to take photos alll dayyy , hahha i was the camera girl yeaya ! an josh was real nice an offerd to do th bbq (: jordan was being a lazy ass hahah ! an there was this girl at th wedding that was exactly like blush ! like she had th same straight up attitude but she was only 11 hahah but she told jordan she'd kil him cause he was a blato :P
but yeah the wedding was cute , it was troys uncle getting married ! so we're kinda related now haha i gues ..
umm after that we bought two boxes of beer , got on it an drank ! crashd at my other house .. then today we went to th avondale market got pork buns mmmm sooo good !! an josh got a knife an a lazer light lmfao he was so mean to th seagulls hha but i loved it XD
hha secretly i think hes cute ;)
im scared someone i know might read this one day so i feel like i can't really express the real me , or speak freely without the risk of someone getting hoha with me about what i've written ;
well to you ..
if you have a problem , don't read it ! the truth may hurt ..

yaaay !

i made friends at course ! (: finally don't feel like a loner hha ..
i was sitting by myself having a ciggy , and they sat down at my table and talked to me (:
their names are chloe , keigan and jade , they are real nice and have all been friends for like 10 years so i feel kinda botz .. but its nice having people to talk to !
and after class , i went and hung out with them :D
so lifes going good at the moment , that was the only thing that made me kinda worried was going to course everyday and not knowing anyone ..
sports days next thursday , thinking about not going , theres no way i'm doing sports in front of people i don't know !!

And So It Starts ..

Thought i'd give this blog a whirl, sorry Dan as usual I steal your niche and completely immerse myself in it. Hope you don't mind .

Been having some pretty deep thoughts lately, about who my real friends are and who I can actually see myself being friends with years down the track. I've been unintentionally snobbing those that I don't see "fitting the bill" and I apoligise to you all now, not like any of you will read this, because i'm not giving the link out. But i've realised the person who i've become the past year is a complete work of fiction. She was the girl that you wanted her to be. She enjoyed the things you did, listened to your tears and sorrows and went through her own, letting few in yet putting on a happy facade because at the end of the day she was the girl you wanted her to be right ? and the girl you wanted her to be was never upset , always happy and smiling. But in reality, she is much deeper than that. And few of you ever got to know that girl.
I've realised that some of these friends are completely immersed in superficiality (is that even a word lmao?) and outward appearances. Judging people is one of their strong points. A classic example of this was last weekend, when the girl you wanted decided to take a friend to an event that you were all going to be at. The friend wasn't stereotypically "pretty" or "stunning" , and you were all absolutely horrified at the fact that the girl you wanted was seen with this girl! Oh the shame you would all have to face! So you decided to completely ignore the friend the girl you wanted was with, making it quite clear your feelings of her, hoping the girl you wanted learnt her lesson.
How pathetic. I've never met people as cruel hearted as you guys, yes sorry forgot to add that little factor, it was a group of 7 guys. You all need to grow up and face reality, never look down on someone unless you are helping them up! You are going to miss out on alot of amazing people if you have that attitude towards people.
Wow I never imagined i'd really enjoy ranting this out onto this blog, the anonyminity of it all is so exciting XD I don't think i'll show this to any of my friends, if they really want to they can search and find it somehow, it shouldn't be too hard (:
But enough of the whinging, lets talk about the positive! I'm listening to keep ya head up-Tupac and its making my mood vastly better!
Tomorrow i'm going to have a real catchup with Jade, i've really missed her ever since I left Whangarei. We have a really unique bond that I can't really explain. We may fight (and when we do we really fight!) but at the end of the day we know that we have each others backs for life and nothing can change that. I guess we're bonded for life hehe, she's like a sister to me and its really nice to have a bond like that with someone i've known for a year!
I guess I should fill in a little survey for this anyway, so I can laugh at it in years to come when I reread this!

Basics:
DOB: 23rd of June
Birthplace: National women's hospital.
Current location:The lounge chillaxing.
Eye color:Brown.
Hair Color:Black!
Height:Hm about 177cms?
Heritage:A mixed bagg. European,Samoan,German,French Canadian,Scottish,British.
Piercings:Bellybutton & Ears.
Tattoos:None, not into them on myself.
Favorite:
Band/Singer:Singer? Mariah Carey for a singer, Katchafire for a band.
Song:Juicy-Notorious BIG ! (:
Genre of Music:Hip hop probably.
Color(s)::Pink,Black,Anything neon.
TV show(s):Shortland Street.
Movie(s):Notorious,The Breakfast Club,Pretty In Pink.
Food:Italian or Thai.
Store:Supre!
Drink:Riccadona Asti!
Clothing Brand:Dior (:
Shoe Brand:Doesn't bother me.
Animal:Kitten I guess.
Pizza topping:Vegetarian.
Season:Summer!
Month:January!
Holiday:New years.
Flower:Frangipani.
This or That:
Sunny or rainy:Sunny.
Chocolate or vanilla:Chocolate.
Fruit or veggie:Fruit.
Night or day:Night!
Sour or sweet:Sweet (:
Love or money:Love.
Phone or in person:In person.
Poor & happy or rich & miserable:Poor&Happy.
Looks or personality:Personality.
Coffee or tea:Tea.
Hot or cold:Hot.
Your:
Goal for this year:Survive it!
Most missed memory:Primary school, those were the days!
Best physical feature:Haha I have no clue.
First thought waking up:Wheres my phone?
Future:
Do you wanna get married:Yup (:
Do you wanna have kids:Yes!
If so, how many:No more than 3.
What do you want to be:In life? Happy.
Do You:
Dance in the rain:Not anymore, don't want to wet my straightened hair haha!
Smoke:Occasionally.
Drink:Yeah.
Shower daily:Yup.
Like thunderstorms:Nope, I get scared!
Curse:Yup.
Sing:Yess,not well hahah!
Play an instrument:I cn play the keyboard hahah!
Think you are good looking:Not particularly.
Get along with your parents:Most of the time.
Other Questions:
Can you whistle:Yes.
Right or left handed:Right.
Your bedtime:Whenever I feel like it.
Biggest fear:Being alone.
3 things you can't live without:cellphone,hair straightener,hair straightener.
Color of your room:Different shades of blue.
Siblings:A brother & a sister, and 5 half sisters.
Middle name:Ann.
Pets:A dog.
Nicknames:Star.
For or against gay marriage:For.
Thoughts on abortion:Up to the person.
If you could be anywhere right now where would you be:Argentina.Or Singapore.
Do you wear contacts/glasses:No.
Are you afraid of the dark:Yes.